Monthly Archives: October 2012

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Six

Posted on by under Dating scene

“Funny How Things Work Out”
I have done a great job of avoiding John because I am still pretty pissed off at him for tricking me like he did.  It should have been my decision as to whether I wanted to watch him fight and he took that trust away from me.  He has called me every day for a week straight and I finally just turned my cell phone off hoping he takes a hint.  When I am ready I will talk to him but not before then.
As I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex I see Johns truck.  Well I guess I am not going to get out of seeing him so I better put on my big girl panties and deal with it now.  I walk past his truck and it is empty so maybe he and Tom are out somewhere.  The door opens before I put my key in the lock and John is standing there looking me.  His face is still swollen from his fight and somehow he’s still handsome.  His right eye is puffy and a little greenish yellow now from the healing bruise. There is a bump on his nose from where he was punched.  I am torn now and know that this is why I didn’t take his calls or want to see him because I would get all these confusing feelings.  He gives me a big grin and leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi Annie.”  I start to open my mouth but he stops me before I can lay into him.  “What I did was wrong I know I should have asked you first.  I’m a guy you know and I wanted you to see how much I love this sport.  It was a stupid thing to do.”  We are still standing in the doorway and he pulls me inside and closes the door.  Siting on the dining room table is a big bouquet of white Gerber daisies my favorite flower.  Well this just got harder.
I walk over and run my fingers over the soft petals and he follows me waiting for me to respond.  I sit down and he kneels in front of me taking me by the hands.  This feels familiar.  “Annie please say something.”  I open my mouth and close it again.  What am I supposed to say?  Stop beating people up for fun and sport!  He is looking at me with those big blue eyes and I feel my resolve melting away.  I reach out and gently touch his bruises caressing each swollen area.  He holds still while I explore his wounds.
“Is this what usually happens when you fight?”  He shakes his hand.  “Did you get distracted by me being there?”  He smiles at me.  “Yeah.  I have never been distracted like that before.” I don’t know what to say now.  I feel a tug in my stomach a good one this time and I feel that I have to give him another chance.  I touch his face again and smile.  “John, if you ever pull a stunt like that again I will beat the shit out of you myself.  I cannot I repeat cannot watch you fight.  Ever.  Again.  If you can deal with that I will go out with you again.”
He grins at me and I smile back at him.  He leans in and kisses me deeply.  Yup I feel it in my toes.  He can definitely kiss.  “I was hoping you would give me another chance so I made reservations at The Park for us tonight at 7 so what do you think?”  I raise my eyebrows at him.  “So you were pretty confident that I would give you another chance?”  He laughs, “I was hopeful that’s all.  Now we have about an hour before we need to be there so freshen up and I will wait here.”
I get up and walk towards my bedroom and then it hits me.  “How did you get in here?”  “Tom let me in and said I could wait here for you.  I’ve only been waiting for an hour or so.”  I find this kind of odd but say nothing.  When I get to my bedroom I close my door and call Tom.  He picks up on the second ring.  “Hey Annie, what’s up?”  I give him a little bit of attitude. “Hey yourself.  Did you let John in here by himself to wait for me?”  “Oh umm yeah are you mad at me?  He just seemed really upset and wanted to tell you he was sorry.  He is a good guy Annie.  What he did was stupid and he knows that.  You should at least give him one more chance.” 
I laugh.  “Ok, ok Tom.  I have already told him one more chance and we are actually headed to dinner as soon as I change. I just wanted to call and make sure you had let him in.”  I hang up and start getting ready.  The Park is a really nice restaurant right on the river so I pick a purple flowing shirt and a cute jean skirt to match with a pair of my best heels.  I throw my curly hair up into a messy bun and freshen up my makeup.  The results look good.  I smile and walk back out into the living room.  “Wow!  Annie you look incredible.”  I blush and smile shyly.  “Thanks John.”
Dinner is nice and everything seems to be going well.  The conversation is flowing and he talks about everything and anything and I am finally relaxing with him.  I don’t feel as mad at him as I did before.  The waiter brings the check and John looks over the bill.  I offer to split the bill and he just gives me this look that says no way so I excuse myself to use the restroom.
I am only in the restroom for a minute when I hear yelling and what sounds like a crash.  My first thought goes to John.  I run out to our table and John and the waiter are actually throwing punches.  What the hell is going on?  “John!!  Stop it!  What are you doing?”  He ignores me.  I try to step in and pull them apart and they crash into me sending me to the ground where I land on my bottom.  I am now officially pissed off.  I get up and grab a pitcher of water and throw the water on him.  That seems to get his attention.  He is dripping water and looking at me like he is seeing me for the first time.  “Annie.  Let me explain.”
He starts to come toward me and I put my hand out.  “Don’t!  Don’t you dare come near me!”  I grab my purse and run out of the restaurant hot tears streaming down my face.  I can hear him calling after me but I don’t stop.  I call Sara and she meets me 10 minutes later.  I open the door and she stares at me with her mouth hanging open. “Annie what happened in there?  John called Tom and said you made this big scene and ran out of the restaurant.”  Now it is my turn to gap her with my mouth open.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.  He got into a fist fight with the damn waiter!  I must have an idiot magnet to be attracting these jackasses!  It cannot be this hard to meet a decent guy can it?”  I can feel the tears again and angrily rub them away.  I am not crying over a man ever again.
Sara grabs me and gives me a big hug.  “I know sweetie I’m sorry.”  She pushes me back and holds me by the shoulders giving me a big crocodile smile.  Oh boy I know that look.   “I have a wonderful idea.  Let’s get away this weekend.  There is a new club opening in South Florida called Boca Beach and it is supposed to be crazy!  Just us girls no boys allowed.  What do you think?  We can stay at my aunt’s condo right on the beach.”  I smile at her and nod my head.  She always knows how to make me feel better.  “Is it Friday yet?”  We both laugh and head home.  I now have something fun to look forward to.  No pressure, no dates, just the girls hanging out and having fun.  

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Five

Posted on by under Dating scene

“I’m a cage fighter” Part two Date two
          OK I admit it, I have been enjoying talking to John on the phone these past couple of weeks after our “it’s not a date, it’s just dinner” that my roommate Sara and her boyfriend Tom set up so I can’t be mad at her.  Maybe this time she is on to something.  He seems to have a lot to say on the phone that doesn’t involve cage fighting.  I did tell him that I am not a big fan of guys beating the shit out of each other for sport.  He said he has a real job and does the cage fighting on the side.  I told him I am not knocking it I just don’t want to see it.  He seemed to be understanding which is good especially since I have a date with him tonight and I am actually excited to be going.  I am meeting some of his friends at an outdoor festival that he says he goes to each year.  Kind of like a fish fry/sports deal which I wasn’t too sure about but he said it’s lots of fun and there will some kind of sporting event going on.
           I have already warned him that I am not the athletic type and he said he didn’t care about that kind of thing as long as I am happy with myself who is he to try to change me.  Total bonus points there!  He wants to pick me up but I prefer to drive myself so that I can leave when I am ready to go.  I know that is a lame reason because it is really romantic to have those grand gestures of getting picked up, receiving flowers and having my car door opened for me.  I want that but so far I have not been too lucky in that department.
          I arrive at the beach inlet just as the sun is setting and the sky is a mix of purples and pinks making the few clouds that are scattered across the skyline look like cotton candy.  There are lots of cars and trucks parked along the side of the road and I can see tents set up and big flood lights illuminating the sand on the beach.  There are bunch of guys unloading a truck and one of them turns and waves to me.  John has spotted me right away and comes up and gives me a big hug.  I feel really short in my flip flops next to his 6’3” frame. 
He is not wearing his hat and I am pleasantly surprised by his curly brown hair which gives him a boyish quality.  He has on black silk looking shorts that are the same type that boxers wear and a white tank t-shirt that is slightly wet from his sweat.  Damn he looks good!  He grins and says, “you look really cute today Annie.”  Really glad a t-shirt and shorts can be cute!  I smile shyly at him.  “Well I can say the same for you John.”  He takes my hand and leads me to the group of guys standing near the truck he was unloading.  After introductions and small talk we walk over to two long rows of tables filled with all sorts of food and snacks and so many variety of beers I feel a little lost. Behind these tables I see what looks like a stage with a fence around the perimeter and rows of chairs lined up all the way around.
“Is that a stage?  Is there going to be a band or something later?”  John just smiles at me and says, “well something like that.  I really hope you enjoy the show Annie.”  We grab some food and drinks and sit down to eat.  I can’t stop staring at his blue eyes so I don’t hear what he says.  “Hello?  Annie?”  I snap back to reality.  “Sorry I got a little lost in your eyes.”  Did I just say that out loud?!   He grins at me and leans across the table and gives me a very soft kiss on the lips and his mouth tastes slightly of beer and sweat.  I am glad to be sitting down because my knees just got weak.
John checks his watch and grabs me by the hand.  “It is almost time for the show and I want you to be up front.”  He leads me to the front row and sits me down.  Kneeling in front of me he takes both of my hands and gives them a gentle squeeze.  “I wanted you to see what I do so you understand why I love this so much.”  I get a little knot in my stomach.  Crap.  I think I just got tricked into watching something I don’t want to.  “Please promise me you will keep an open mind ok?  I am so happy you are here Annie.”  He kisses me again and runs off. 
I look around and see that the chairs around me are filling up and there is a feeling of electric excitement in the air.  Everyone is talking about the fight and who is going to win.  I hear John’s name a few times and from the sounds of it he is the favorite to win.  I just don’t know how to feel about all this but the energy from everyone around me is getting me excited about what is getting ready to happen.
John and one of the guys he introduced to me earlier named Mark step into the make shift ring and loud cheers go up among the crowd.  They are both wearing sparring gloves and shorts with no shirts.  I can’t help but stare at John.  He has an athletic build and I find that I am strangely attracted to him at this moment when I know that at any second they are going to start punching each other.  The bell rings and they both dance around the ring sizing each other up before any punches are thrown.
John rushes in and lands the first punch on Mark and the punch is quickly returned and soon they are all arms and legs flying around between kicks, punches, and holds it is hard to figure who is doing what.  I am not sure how to feel about all this when John takes a chance and looks at me.  Mark takes this opportunity and does a sweep and takes John down.  Like a cat pouncing on a bird, the two of them are moving around the floor throwing punches and elbows at each other.  John is pinned now and trying everything to get out from underneath Mark when Mark lands three quick hard punches to Johns face.  Suddenly there is blood everywhere but they keep going, fists and blood flying everywhere.
The sight of all that blood mixed with them beating the shit out of each is too much and I feel very nauseous almost immediately. I get up and run down to the water feeling like my food is going to come up….oh god please if I throw up I am going to be pissed off!  I am bent over the water gagging and the cool breeze off the water seems to calm me down and the feeling passes quickly.  I look around and wipe the sweat off my face.  Thankfully no one sees me.  I sit down on the sand shaking and feeling light headed.  There is no way I am going back up there to see that.  I can hear them yelling and cheering and my stomach flips again.
As my eyes adjust to the darkness I can see a couple of fishermen about 5 feet away unhook a fish and throw it to the sand.  I sit there and watch this fish struggle for life.  Its mouth opens and closes trying to suck in big gulps of life saving breath.  For him his elixir of life lay just a few feet away crashing softly against the shore.  I feel like that fish with his mouth gaping open for all to see waiting for the relief that will never come.  The fish is flopping now in the sand desperate for survival. That is something else that I have in common with that fish.  No matter what I do I feel that I am not going to get what I need and want so badly that it crushes my heart.  I feel the hot tears spring to my eyes and spill down my cheeks.  I don’t even know why I am crying but it feels good.  I stay on the beach for a while watching the waves crash against the shore while my mind buzzes with confusing thoughts about love and dating.  Will it ever get easier?