I am standing at the edge of a cliff; my feet skid slightly on the rocks as I watch a few small pebbles tumble over the side. My heart is pounding in my ears making my head feel stuffed with the noise of my beats thump thump, thumpthumpthump. Thump. My breath is coming in jagged pulls as my lungs try to suck in every bit of air as if it’s going to be my last. The wind is tugging at me trying to pull me over the edge into the nothingness. I look down and see that I am only wearing my lacy black panties and a light blue tank top.
The desire to jump is so strong I feel myself leaning forward into it. I look around and see nothing but the dark grey clouds, boiling and rolling over each other as if in anger, sweeping past me so fast I feel like I’m on fast forward. There are a few trees jutting out from the edge of the cliff at odd angles as though they are defying gravity. Suddenly I am overcome by the need, the absolute need, to jump. I bend my knees slightly, inhale deeply and launch myself out into the void. My arms spread out as if I have wings, my whole body tense as I soar through the air like a bullet.
The air is screaming in my ears as I fall, simultaneously pushing and pulling, trying to save me while driving me down faster and faster. I am desperately trying to breathe and at first I can’t seem to remember how to do it. Then, as if a faucet is turned on full blast, I remember how and gulp the air greedily. It is sweet. It smells like coffee. Hazelnut coffee to be exact. Why does the air smell like coffee? I blink and shake my head. The cloud is whispering in my ear tickling, making me giggle. I want to keep falling but I am being pulled up slowly then more quickly as my name is whispered again and again. “Annie.” I moan softly and try to turn away from the sound. “Annie, wake up.”
And just like that I feel myself fall into being awake. I blink for a moment not sure where I am. As my eyes focus, I see Ray smiling down at me. He leans down and gives me a soft sweet kiss that makes me tingle everywhere. “Good morning beautiful. That must have been some dream you were having. I called your name for two minutes before you even started to stir.” He has a large cup of coffee, steam swirling off the top and sets it down on the night stand. I smile up at him and touch his arm. I want to make sure I’m not still dreaming. “Good morning handsome. I had the craziest dream. I almost didn’t want to wake up from it.”
It’s been a couple of months since the girl’s night out and the dance club. We have been together since then. Not sure what to call it really but I am trying not to over think it and just enjoy each moment. I usually drive to him as it is easier because of his hours and for the most part I don’t mind. The drive down always helps me clear my head. Michael has become a distant memory now and it doesn’t hurt quite so much when I think about him. I told Sara I threw away his letter but I hid it in my underwear drawer. I only read it occasionally and each time it gets easier. It is a test for me. I must move on, I know this. Ray makes me happy and it scares the shit out of me honestly. I don’t want to get hurt again. He seems to be into me but I still have my guard up. High alert I suppose. I have gotten good at hiding my fear.
I rub my eyes and yawn giving him a lopsided grin. He always looks so damn sexy in the morning. I start to feel tingly. Ray gives me that look, the one that gets me every time. He is wearing dark blue boxer briefs and I just want to touch him everywhere. He pulls the covers back until I am completely exposed to him. The only thing standing between us is my light blue tank top and lacy black panties. He slowly climbs onto the bed and straddles me making sure that he doesn’t put all his weight on me. I reach up and touch his chest. The heat rising from him sends electricity through my fingertips. Grabbing my hands, he kisses my palms and pushes my arms up over my head. Slow hands make their way to my tank top and slide it up exposing me. The cold air hits and immediately my nipples are rock hard. His hands are warm as they explore every part of my body. His lips brush across my belly making my stomach tight and my insides flutter.
A moan escapes and I arch my back in respond to his touch. Fingertips slip under the top of my lacy panties and he slides them to my ankles planting soft, wet kisses on my stomach and thighs as he slips them off my feet. I try to pull him up to me. I feel the need to kiss him, to feel him on me, in me now. I tug at his boxer briefs and Ray pushes me back down and I sink into the pillow. “I have no plans on stopping any time soon so just relax babe, let me take my time.” I lose myself in his kisses, his hands, the way he makes my body feel.
There is an animalistic nature to the way he is touching me as if he marking me with his scent somehow. When I can’t contain myself any longer I slide down and pull him up to me. I wrap my legs around him so that we are skin to skin. I can feel his muscles tighten as his body reacts to my touch. My hands grab onto his shoulders as he slides into me. I feel like I am flying again. I can feel his mouth on my ear, his breathe hot against my neck. My heart is beating like a drum in my ears and I feel like I am falling. I let it take me over the edge again and again. Right now, I am not afraid. I feel wanted and desired. I let that feeling take me back down into my dreams. I feel Ray kiss my forehead and pull the covers back over me tucking me in.