Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Fifteen


“You are the Sexy, Dangerous Kind”

I am lying on Sara’s bed watching her get ready for a night out with Tom and she is drilling me with questions about my Valentine’s date with Michael. “Annie, you are so naughty! Right there in the planetarium?” I giggle as I think back to that night. I let out a sigh, “yes it was amazing! I mean really Sara I can’t even begin to describe how he made me feel. It was like he did his homework on me to find out what worked and what didn’t. Nothing he did was wrong and I even made him repeat a few things!”

Sara smiles at me, “well it is about time. I haven’t seen you this happy since Ray. But this time you took it slow or maybe he forced you to go slow but either way I am glad it finally happened for you. So are you going to see him again?” I throw a pillow at her. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?” She gives me that look and I know I am going to get a lecture. “Hmm let’s see. You know I don’t sugar coat anything with you so I am going to give it you straight like I always do. Whenever you get close to someone and things are going well you slam on the brakes.”

“What?! I do not. Do. That.” I take a deep breath and blow it out. “Ok maybe I do but I am not doing it on purpose it just doesn’t ever feel right. Oh my god! Am I that girl that runs away before she can get too involved?” Her obnoxious snort tells me that I indeed do just that. Great. I am wrecking my own relationships. “Well I can’t blame you considering everything that you have been through but you have to take a chance you know. If you keep running away every time you start to feel something you are going to be by yourself for a long time. Unless that is what you want and there is nothing wrong with that.”

I bury my face in her pillow and I can feel my eyes well up as I try to force my tears to go away. She is right and I know it. I haven’t let go of the past yet and if I can’t do that then I can’t move forward and be in a healthy relationship. I feel her sit down on the bed and rub my back. “It’s ok to be scared. Just don’t let it hold you back ok? This Michael guy seems to have broken through your brick wall you’ve got surrounding your heart. Just go with the flow here and see where it takes you. There is no need to rush things. Now stop snotting on my pillow and give me some love.” I start to laugh and sit up giving her a bear hug. She just always seems to know the right thing to say to kick my ass back in gear.

It’s Saturday morning and I am getting ready for my date with Michael. I have never gone on a date in the middle of the day before so I am not real sure what to be prepared for. All he told me was to wear comfortable clothes preferably jeans and no heels. Umm yeah, I need my heels they make me feel sexy so I will pretend I forgot that part. I am going completely causal otherwise in blue jeans, a fitted white tee shirt and a black ball cap with my curly hair pulled through the cap in a ponytail. I decide to wear my black ankle boots which have a heel but aren’t as high as the rest of my shoes.

My door bell rings at 10 am on the dot and I giggle as I walk toward the door. He is never late, ever. It must be a military thing and I find that I have to make sure I am ready way ahead of time so that I am done when he arrives and so far it has worked out for me. I am not sure how he would feel knowing that I am never on time. He gives me a deep kiss as soon as I open the door and I lose all focus. It is amazing that he has that effect on me. My body tingles from head to toe as I remember what that tongue and mouth had done to me only a few days ago.

He breaks away and takes me in. “Annie, you look incredible. The causal look definitely suits you.” He steps back for me come out and it is my turn to look him over as we walk to the car. He is wearing dark jeans, a gray tee shirt and hiking boots. I want to jump him right here but I will wait for how long though I don’t know. As he opens my door he leans in close to my ear, “I thought I said no heels. I will have to think of something to do to you later for not listening to me.” His smile makes me tingle and now I can’t wait to see what he has in store.

I am lost in all the possibilities of things I want him to do to me that I don’t notice that we have pulled onto a dirt road. “You aren’t taking me into the woods to do naughty things to me are you?” He chuckles and gives me a sly grin. “Only what you want me to do to you.” He puts his hand on my knee and slides it slowly up to my inner thigh. He is inching his fingers closer and I feel myself start to move closer to his hand when he gives my thigh a squeeze and releases me. I groan in frustration and look at him. He just smiles and pulls into a parking spot.

I look out the window and see that we are at an outdoor shooting range. Well this is a new one. He grabs a small carrying case out of the back and comes around and opens my door for me. I step out and look around. The whole shooting range is open but surrounded by woods on three sides. The range itself where the shooters stand is a long row with stalls wide enough for 2 people to fit in with a total of 10 stalls. The targets are set up about 25 yards out that back up against a 30 foot high wall. There are 6 stalls being used currently by what appears to be avid shooters.

Michael takes me by the hand and leads me to the last stall. It seems quiet and I realize that everyone has stopped shooting. I look at over at Michael and he smiles. “They are being polite.” He points to his ears when I don’t seem to comprehend. “We need hearing protection.” He hands me ear plugs and passive hearing protection which look like oversized ear muffs. He puts his on first and then helps me with mine. “Have you ever shot a gun before?” I shake my head no because I feel if I talk I will be yelling to be heard over the deafness I feel with all this stuff on my ears.

The shooting starts again and he gives me a quick lesson on guns. “This is a Bretta 92, this is the safety, and this is how you load it.” He makes quick work of showing me how to load and unload it and how to turn the safety on and off. “I want you to hold it and get the feel for it. Don’t point this gun at anything you don’t intend to destroy. Do you understand?” I nod again. I am scared but excited I have never held a gun before.

I take the gun and it feels like cold steel in my hand, light but heavy at the same time. It can’t weigh more than a couple of pounds but to me it seems like a lead ball. He stands behind me so that our bodies are touching and he slides his hands down so that they are over mine holding the gun. His head is on my shoulder and I can smell him and feel his breath on me. How am I supposed to concentrate when he is this close to me?!

He takes his right leg and pushes my legs apart so that I have a slightly wider than shoulder stance. I can feel his heartbeat against my back or maybe that is just mine I am hearing through my ear plugs. He puts his hands on my shoulders forcing me to relax and puts his hands back over mine signaling me to fire off a round. I take a deep breath like he told me to and squeeze off a round. The kickback isn’t as bad as I thought it would be only because he had a firm grip on me and the gun. The thrill of shooting is amazing and we spend the next hour shooting over and over again.

I step aside and let him take the last round and he quickly empties the magazine and chamber, his muscles are tense and I can see his concentration as he is completely focused on the target. Watching him be so intense just gets me so excited. When he pulls the paper target in it looks like he only hit it once but pretty much every shot went to the same place. I am impressed and slightly scared.

“You can take off your hearing protection now.” I realize that it is quiet once again and see that we are the only ones still out here. He dismantles his gun and puts it away in its carrying case. His movements are again very quick and I am in awe as to how fast he moves. Suddenly he is behind me his hands on my jeans pulling at the button to undo them. I start to turn around but he is up against my back his mouth close to my ear his hands pushing my jeans down as he kisses my ear working his way down my neck. His hands have found their way inside my jeans under my panties and he is getting me completely worked up. I can feel how excited he is as he moves against my grinding hips. Suddenly he stops and pulls away from me.

I let out a low growl. “What. What happened? Why did you stop?” He has that smile on his face again. “Annie, you are the sexy dangerous kind and I think I really like that about you but I did tell you that I would have to think of something for you not listening when I said no heels.” I look at him and try to figure out if he is joking or not. He chuckles and starts to walk toward his car. If he is teasing I am not sure I can take it. “Annie!” I look up and he has the door open waving me over. “I am not done with you but this is too open for what I have in mind for you my dear now get in the car I want to do naughty things to you in the woods.”


Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Fourteen

“The Perfect Valentine Date”

Today is Valentine’s Day; a day that I have always wished would just go away in the past. The pressure is on all sides to “show” the one you love how much you care by forking over a ridiculous amount of money on flowers and forget about the pressure to propose on this day if you have been dating for a while. Those commercials about that jewelry store and their damn diamonds…argh gets me so mad every time.  As if the only way to say you love someone is with diamonds.

I am going to look past all that because tonight I have a date with Michael.  It is our fourth and so far he has been the perfect gentleman which is good but kind of annoying at the same time.  Every time he kisses me I get weak in the knees.  It is the prefect amount of lips, tongue and pressure and just makes me tingle all over.  I was not too sure about a date on tonight of all nights but I got the most beautiful red roses and purple tulips this morning with a note that said “To my beautiful girl” so I am going to just go with it and see what happens.  It will be good no matter what it is.

I have no idea where we are going but I am excited as each date he seems to surprise me more and more.  Never typical and ends with a kiss on the hand and then he pulls me in close for a deep kiss, hands in the hair and then releases me right when things get hot.  I think I am more frustrated than he is at this point.  Sara laughs because I usually end up taking a cold shower after our dates.  Wow I sound like a 19 year old guy who is trying to score.  There is something about him that I can’t put my finger on. He is mysterious and dark and slightly dangerous in a sexy way.

I know he works for the government but he is pretty tight lipped about it saying that he can’t talk about it but I know it is something in the military.  He doesn’t like to talk about himself either and is always asking me questions about myself and what I like and don’t like.  Almost as if he is taking mental notes for future use.  He stares at me so intensely and I feel that in his head he is doing very naughty things to me and when I ask him what he is thinking about he just bites his lip and smiles which of course sends shivers down my spine…..those lips, oh how I like to kiss those lips.

At exactly 6 pm Michael is at my door to pick me up.  He looks delicious as usual.  Tonight he is dressed in a fitted buttoned down black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark blue jeans and dress shoes.  And he smells so good a woody, leather scent that just makes me want to sniff him at the base of his neck.  He steps back and looks me over a couple of times.  I am wearing a sleeveless black dress with white hearts along the bottom, a red shrug and red heels to match.  I decided to pull my hair back into a messy bun; a look that Sara calls my sexy librarian look.   “Annie you are simply stunning this evening.”  He leans in and kisses my cheek and inhales my scent.  “You smell like vanilla and chocolate, mmmm.”

This makes me blush for some reason.  His tone is playful but there is a certain urgency underneath, almost a lust.  Most interesting.  “Thank you Michael.  You look very handsome this evening.”  He holds out his hand and I place my hand in his and he leads me to his car.  This bit is something that took time for me to get used to but I find there is something so sweet about this gesture.  I thought he was trying to impress me at first but then I realized he meant it.  Maybe that is how he gets women to swoon over him.  Everywhere we go women are always staring at him.  His presence is very commanding so I don’t blame them one bit.

Dinner is amazing and Michael is again full of surprises.  He arranged to have some of my favorites prepared by the chef; caprese salad, Chicken saltimbocca in a lemon sauce and for dessert, chocolate covered strawberries.   We have our own table in the corner looking out over the ocean.  He is giving me that look again and I feel tingles in all the right spots.  It could also be the bottle of champagne we drank too.  He leans in close so that our lips are almost touching.  “Are you ready for the second part of our date?”  I can only nod because all I can think about are his lips.  He comes all the way in and kisses the corner of my mouth and then licks his lips.  “You had a bit of chocolate but I got it.”  Yes definitely tingling now.  He is saying and doing all the right things I can only hope the rest of the evening goes like this.

Our drive to part two of the date is short and when I look around I realize where we are.  “Why are we at the museum?  I thought they closed hours ago.”  He just smiles that smile again and comes around and opens the door for me.  “I know the curator.  He owed me a favor.  I know that you mentioned how much you love art and everything related to it so I wanted to see it through your eyes.”  I am speechless.  This is my favorite little museum and right now I know there are many great artists on display and I get to see them without the crowds!

We walk inside and the curator is waiting with two flutes of champagne which Michael takes from him and hands a glass to me.  “To an evening you will never forget.”  There is a twinkle in his eyes and I know he has something up his sleeve and I can’t wait to find out.  He leads me down to the West Wing and we step into the first room.  Some of my favorite artists are here displayed just for me.  Water Lilies and The Garden at Givenry by Monet, The Birth of Venus and Primavera by Botticelli, Starry Night and Sunflowers by Van Gogh just to name a few.  I realize that he has listened to every little thing I have said.  Displayed are some of my favorite paintings by some of my favorite artists.

He stands behind me as I take in the paintings and I can feel his breath on my bare neck.  I tilt my head slightly and he takes this moment to kiss my neck and I lean back against him.  He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tightly against him and I can feel that he is most definitely excited to have me against him.  He runs his hands down my hips and up my backside.  A moan escapes me and he turns me and kisses me very deeply pulling me to him and his hands are all over me.  I have my hands on his back and I can feel his muscles respond to me.  He pulls back and gives me this grin.

He leads me to a few more rooms and again he attacks me as I try to look at the art.  I am getting very worked up and I can see that he is too.  I look around and giggle.  There are cameras everywhere so our little make out session has been filmed.  At least the guards will not be bored.  He looks up and sees what I am looking at.  There is a dark corner and he pulls me into it.  “There are no cameras here.”  He whispers.  Suddenly his hands are in places they haven’t been before and I am so turned on but worried the curator is going to walk in on us.

He pulls my red shrug off and kisses my shoulders and turns me so that I am facing away from him.  I feel him start to unzip my dress.  Oh my heaven!   He plants kisses down my back until he gets to my red lace panties.  He pulls on them with his teeth.  He runs his hands up under my dress and gently touches the top of my panties.  My whole body shivers again and I hear him chuckle low in his throat.  Quickly he stands up and pulls me in for a kiss. He bites my lower lip lightly.  “Have you ever been to the Planetarium?”

I have to catch my breath he has me so distracted.  One minute I am worried about the silly curator walking in and now I am screaming in my head for him to not stop.  “No, Not here.  I didn’t know they had one.  I always just come to look at the paintings.”  He gets that hungry look on his face and I suddenly realize that what I have been waiting for is going to happen and now I am shivering with anticipation.  He leads me down another hall through the East Wing and to a door with no windows.  There is a flashing green light on the wall and when the automatic doors open and the light turns red.  I am getting ready to ask Michael what the light is for when he answers my unasked question. “That means that the show is starting and no one can come in while the light is red.  Keep that thought in mind.”

It is very dark inside and there is soft music playing in the background.  I look up and there are millions of stars displayed onto the rounded ceiling.  They look so real that I forget I am inside a building.  He goes behind a stand in the middle of the room where I assume someone stands to talk about the stars. I am looking up and see that the stars are moving slowly to simulate the evening sky.  “Annie.  Come.  You can lie down and look up all evening if you want.”  I look over and Michael has a thick white blanket spread out on the floor.  He is sitting there looking up at me biting on his lip.  I have noticed that he does this around me.  I find it very sexy.

I walk over and stand before him.  He taps my left foot and motions for me to lift it.  I do and he removes my heel and does the same for my right one. Now he gets up on his knees before me.  His fingers are lightly grazing my legs and right now all I can think about is how very glad I am that I shaved my legs today.  Now his hands are under my dress again and he looks up at me with those light blue eyes.  I feel the tug of my panties as he pulls them down.  His eyes never leave mine.  I place my hands on his shoulders and step out of my undies.

He puts them aside and gently pulls me down so that we are both on our knees facing each other.  I reach out and start to unbutton his shirt pulling the bottom out of his jeans.  I am pleasantly surprised to see that he has a tattoo on the left side of his chest.  It is a tribal wolf with its head raised and there is a dagger piercing the head of the wolf.  I pull his shirt off and touch the tattoo.  His skin is very hot to the touch.  He reaches behind me and unzips my dress for the second time tonight and pulls it over my head in one move.  I am now in my bra and he is in his jeans.

I am taking in his muscles and I can’t seem to stop touching his chest and arms.  It is like touching warm marble, strong and solid.  He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  I grab his face and pull him to me and kiss him deeply.  I can hear his belt as he undoes it and the zipper of his jeans.  He undoes my bra and now we are both naked on the floor of the Planetarium with the music playing softly and the stars above us.  He is taking his time touching every part of me as I touch every part of him.  It is hot and sexy and I don’t want to it end.  All I can think is that this is the best Valentine’s Day. Ever.

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Thirteen

“All the Right Moves”

“Annie, grab another bottle of wine while you are in the kitchen!”  I giggle because Sara and I have already killed two bottles and we don’t seem to be close to stopping any time soon.  I walk past the flowers sitting on the counter and run my hand across them releasing their fragrant smell.  I thought they were from Michael but they aren’t signed.  The note simply says ‘For you Much Love, Me’.  I called Ray thinking that maybe they were from him but he said no they weren’t but he wished they would have been.  He said he wanted things to be different but I know that it won’t be something that I can deal with long term.  I called the flower shop they came from to find out who sent them and they said they had to track the order down and would call me back and let me know.

Leaning down in the open fridge the cool air hits me and my stomach does a little flip.  Oh boy I need food.  I grab some cheese, strawberries, crackers and hummus, the bottle of wine and pop the door closed with my hip and head back to Sara’s room.  Not sure why we ended up in here but we decided to have our own little fashion show.  We are taking turns being the paparazzi using a old Polaroid camera.  I didn’t even know these things even existed anymore.  When I walk in the bedroom Sara is pulling on bright yellow tights, pink heels and has on a black mini skirt that looks more like tutu, a bright neon green sweatshirt that hangs off one shoulder and her hair is pulled into a side ponytail.  “Umm, hello 1985, where have you been.”  I say and hand her the wine.  She pops the cork and takes swig from the bottle and passes it to me.  “Ok get the camera ready I am gonna work the shit out of this catwalk.”  The ‘catwalk’ is a bunch of towels we lined up on the floor that goes from one end of the room to the other.

She pushes play on the CD player and music blasts out of the speakers and she struts down the catwalk posing and blowing kisses as she passes.  I am clicking pictures and the Polaroids are dropping to the ground as I try to take as many as I can but it only goes so fast.  Now I know why I like my digital camera.  We grab the pictures and jump up and down on the bed shaking the film.  This brings back memories of another lifetime of family growing up.  “Sara thanks for getting drunk with me.  I really needed this tonight.”  She grabs a picture of the two of us and tries to stick it to my forehead.  “You are going to find the right guy Annie.  When you least expect it ok?  It has to find you though not the other way around.”  Ahh, it is out now.  We have been avoiding this all night.  I sigh and flop back onto the pillow.  “Why does it have to be so hard? How many frogs do I have to kiss before I find my prince?”  She lays down and puts her head next to mine and pats my face making me laugh.

She holds up a finger.  “Hold that thought I love this song.”  She turns it up and starts singing.  I laugh because she found this song in one of her many random searches for good music.  “Who is this?”  She has her eyes closed as she moves to the music.  “It’s called Age of Denial by Luke Hicken.  I found him on sound cloud.  It reminds me of you a little.”  She covers my mouth with her hand so I have to be quiet.  “It’s a shame to have to search back to so far away….”   She takes her hand away and continues to sing to me which makes me love having her as my best friend and roommate even more.

I wake up to loud knocking at the front door.  I am sprawled out on the couch so apparently I didn’t quite make it to my room last night.  “Just a second!”  I yell and immediately regret it.  Wine hangovers are not fun at all.  I stumble to the front door and look through the peep hole to see a gentleman dressed like a limo driver with a small package in his hand.  This makes me giggle for some reason.  I open the door.  “Can I help you?”  He gives me a quick once over.  “Yes I am looking for Annie Gibson.  I have a delivery.”  Oh how interesting.  “Who is it from?”  I look from him to the package.  “I take it you are Annie?  He said I would know you when I saw you.”  He hands me the package and stands there.  I raise my eyebrows at him.  Is he waiting for a tip?  “Once you open it he asked that you give me your answer.  So if you please.”  He motions me to open the package.

My heart is racing as I tear it open.  A single white Gerber Daisy lies on top of a thick ivory colored invitation. I pick up the flower and place it to my nose inhaling deeply.  I read the card slowly making sure I don’t miss a single word:

It would give me great pleasure to have you join me for a horseback ride on the beach tonight at 6 pm.  This will be followed by a sunset picnic.  You will be picked up at 5 pm if you choose to accept my invitation.  ~Michael

I am standing there speechless with the biggest smile on my face.  “Yes!  My answer is yes!”  I give him a hug which takes him by surprise and I close the door squealing like a little girl and run to Sara’s room.  I knock on the door and listen.  No Discovery animal noises so I am not going to interrupt them.  I open the door.  “Sara!”  I whisper loudly.  “Get up I have to tell you something!”  I hear her stir and moan something about getting up.  She sounds as hung over as I do right now.  She drags herself into the living room with her eyes half closed.  I show her the card and she immediately wakes up.  We both jump up and down like little kids.  “Ok you need to get some sleep and then we need to go shopping later so you are ready for your first date with Michael.

I am sliding on my new jeans that Sara insisted I needed to get because “they make your ass look really really good”.  I have chosen a light green paper thin long sleeve shirt with a white tank underneath.  The green from my shirt is really making my eyes stand out so I do a natural look for my makeup.  I decide to wear my hair down since Michael seemed to like touching it so much the first time I met him.  I am definitely hoping for a repeat of that kiss.  At exactly 5 pm the doorbell rings and there he is.  My breath is taken away again.  He is even more gloriously handsome up close.  My eyes go to his lips and I feel my face turn red remembering his kiss.

“Annie.  You look as beautiful today as you did on New Year’s Eve.”  He takes my hand and brings it up and gently brushes his lips against my knuckles.  I smile at him and fight to keep my knees from getting weak.  What is this?  He looks at me and I turn to putty. I find my voice at last.  “Hello Michael.  You look like you were carved by the gods.”  Oh hell did I just say that out loud.  He laughs at this and in one motion has pulled me out of the apartment and closed the door.  He is wearing dark jeans, a black fitted tee shirt that displays his very nicely built arms and a pair of black boots. I can’t stop looking at his ass as we walk to his car.  What is coming over me?

The drive is relatively quick so we don’t get much time to talk in the car.  He asks me lots of questions about myself so I don’t get a chance to ask anything about him other than he is in fact George’s brother so Tom was right about that.  We park and he takes my hand and leads me down a trail to the beach.  There is a tent set up and as we get closer I see a table filled with heaping plates of food.  There is chilled shrimp, oysters on the half shell, various types of cheese and fruit.  I can see two bottles of champagne in an oversized ice bucket as well.  There is enough to feed at least 10 people here.  There are two oversized white chairs with a small round table between them.

The same gentleman who brought me the invitation is walking toward us with two beautiful Thoroughbred horses.  They are both dark bay with jet black manes, tails and socks.  They are huge, standing about 16 hands high and their coats are so shiny.  I have never ridden a horse before so I can feel myself tense up a bit.  He gives my hand a squeeze.  “Don’t worry Annie.  I will be right next to you and I promise I won’t let you get hurt.”  He pulls me with him and we walk over and they both help boost me up onto my horse.  Her name is Daisy and she seems to be very relaxed with me on her back.  I have to force myself to relax because I want to enjoy this.

The ride is amazing and we have gone up and down the beach several times and Michael even convinces me to let her run through the water so we are both soaked from mid-thigh down but what an amazing feeling riding next to him.  We are almost back to tent when he rides up next to me which causes Daisy to slow down.  He grabs her rein and pulls her to a stop.  “Are you having a good time tonight?”  He is looking at me with those beautiful light blue eyes and I feel like I am going to slide right off Daisy and into those pools of crystal blue.  “This is the best first date I have ever been on Michael.  This is so much better than in the movies.” He gives me a sly smile and reaches out and touches my face.  “Annie you are incredibly sexy.  I can see the excitement in your eyes and your smile.  You are glowing right now.”

He leans over and pulls me toward him and I can hear the saddle creak slightly as his weight shifts.  Our lips touch and I feel like I am back on that balcony.  He parts my lips with his tongue and kisses me deeply make me feel light headed.  The kiss is very passionate and sensual and his hand is in my hair again pulling me closer to him.  I feel myself leaning into him and I don’t care if I fall off the horse right now I am so caught up in him.  He pulls away and I really do almost fall off before he grabs my arm.  “Easy Annie, I promised I wouldn’t let you fall and I never break my promises.”  I blush and pull myself upright in my saddle.  If his kiss can make me feel so weak I can only imagine what the rest of him would do to me. Oh my god what is wrong me!

He helps me off Daisy and I can feel his muscles under his shirt as he pulls me close to him and then gently sets me down on the sand.  The horses are taken away and we walk to the tent to eat.  Throughout dinner I can’t help but stare at Michael.  I want to touch his face, to kiss him.  He seems so mysterious to me and that makes me want him even more.  “What are you thinking about right now Annie you have this Mona Lisa smile on your face.” I take a sip of my champagne to gather my courage.

“Well, to be honest I can’t stop thinking about your lips and your kiss.  I mean I am thinking about the rest of you too but….. Oh wait, that didn’t come out right either.  I just don’t know what it is you have done to me.  I sound like a total idiot around you and you would think it is my first day walking because I can’t seem to stand up without being close to fainting when you kiss me.”  He laughs and even that is sexy.  “Well I didn’t realize I had that effect on you and you are far from an idiot.  I find you refreshing and I don’t think I have ever met someone like you before.  Trust me it is taking everything in my being to not launch myself at you right now.  But I am a gentleman which is very lucky for you.  But give it time darlin’ because I won’t always be able to be on my best behavior around you.  That is if you agree to go out with me again.”  I smile and nod at him.  I don’t trust myself to speak at the moment.  I feel myself tingle from head to toe.  He leans in and gives me a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.  “For tonight though I will behave.”

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Twelve

“Sweet Dreams are Made of These”
I am on my way to south Florida to see Ray and I am listening to a mix of music that Sara has on her IPOD.   I don’t know how she finds these amazing artists but everything I have heard so far is not played on main stream radio.  Right now it’s the composer we listened to the other night, David McSparron, the song is called Miles to Go she said she found him on YouTube.  His music has my brain running in a million different directions in a good way.  I feel so moved; it makes me ponder what has happened over the last few days.  The song switches to another one of his called Trainand I smile.  For some reason it reminds of my kiss at midnight.  Who is Michael?  Why is that kiss still lingering on my lips?
Tom says he will check for me but he thinks Michael is his bosses’ brother.  Hopefully he can find out more for me because I can’t seem to get him out of my head.  My phone pings and I see I have a text from Ray and I feel a twinge of guilt now.  I am still confused on how I am supposed to feel about Ray and what we do or do not have.  He made me experience things I didn’t think possible but his line of work in not conducive of a stable relationship forget the fact that he lives a couple of hours away.
Before I left Sara told me that I just have to go have fun and not worry about silly labels and enjoy the moments I have and wave my freak flag high above my head.  I have to admit she has a point.  And she also reminded me that it isn’t very often that some very hot guy waits all night for the chance to kiss a perfect stranger at a party.  I touch my lips thinking about that kiss and this distracts me and I almost miss my exit.  Focus!  The butterflies are starting again in my stomach as I pull into Ray’s driveway.  My body is suddenly very much awake at the moment and when Ray opens the door and pulls me into his arms, kissing me deeply and urgently the electricity is in overdrive.
He pushes the front door shut and locks it with one hand while the other is tugging at the button of my jeans.  He isn’t wasting any time!  I want to stop and at least say hello but my body has a mind of its own right now and nothing is going to stand in the way of responding to his every touch.  We are engaged in a clumsy dance of kissing, touching and moving not really looking where we are going but somehow we make it down the hall way to his room.  Clothes are being tugged and pulled and I feel the cool wall against my back and my arms pinned above my head as Ray pulls my shirt up over my head before he makes his way south to relieve me of my jeans.  “I’ve missed you Annie.”
I groan deep my throat and reach down pulling his shirt up and off him.  He stands up and looks at me and I feel so shy again.  He smiles at this and grabs me and pulls me onto the bed with him.  It is very chilly in the room and I notice there are candles everywhere in the room, so many that it has taken on a glow of flickering light which makes shadows dance off our skin.  I lay back against a pillow while he runs his hands up and down the length of my body.  He looks at me and I can see the hunger in his eyes.  “Do you trust me?” he says as he picks up a candle.  I stutter slightly, “ye…yes.”  Taking my hand and turning it palm up he slowly pours a small pool of hot melted wax into my palm.  I immediately flinch from the heat but he holds my hand steady.  “Did that hurt?”  He is looking right into my eyes and I slowly shake my head.  It is a different kind of pain but it is sensual at the same time.  “Close your eyes.”  I must look like a deer caught in the headlights because he gives me a boyish grin.  “Annie I am not going to hurt you I promise.  If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable just tell me to stop and I will ok?”
“Yes, ok.”  This comes out in a whisper. I close my eyes but I can hear him moving around and I try to peek out from under my lashes.  “No peeking!  Do I need to get the scarf out?”  I giggle at this.  “No, I will be good.”  My body is shaking with anticipation of what is to come.  He is right next to me again and leans down and his lips brush against mine.  “You ready for a whole new level of me baby?”  I can hear ice cubes clinking in a glass and suddenly my stomach tightens as cold drops of water splash my skin. 
He does this several times making me shiver from the cold and I realize what he is going to do right before he does it.  The hot wax isn’t as bad as I thought it would be and he goes over the same areas on my stomach as he did with the cold drops of water.  He goes back and forth between the water and the wax until I can’t take it anymore and I grab him and pull him down onto me.  “Please Ray!  Stop. Teasing. Me.  I don’t know how much more I can handle you are making me shiver for all the right reasons.”  He smiles that cryptic smile again.  “Good cause I’m not even close to being done with you yet.”
I wake up tangled in sheets and very thirsty.  The alarm clock says it is 10:30am.  I don’t even know what time we finally fell asleep last night or was it this morning?  I look over at Ray who is on his side with his back toward me.  I reach over and lightly touch his skin.  It is warm to the touch.  My head is groggy and I feel drunk even though we didn’t drink last night.  I get a drink of water and crawl back into bed and am instantly asleep.
My phone beeping wakes me up and I realize the room is dark again.  I sit up and look at my phone.  It is 8pm.  Shit!   I didn’t realize I had slept so long.  Ray’s side of the bed is empty.  There is a note from Ray.  I smile when I read it.  He wants me to come to the club tonight and hang out with him.  I quickly shower peeling bits of candle wax off my stomach and chest and get dressed.  The club is right around the corner so I am there by 10pm.  The place is already packed and I see Ray in the DJ booth talking to a few girls.  I watch as he does a shot off one of the girls’ chest.  There is a knocking in my stomach and I realize I am jealous.  This is something new for me.  I am not the jealous type and besides there are no labels here.  I am just having fun. Right?  He had warned me about this part of his job.
I order water from the bartender and make my way toward the booth with a smile plastered to my face.  What is wrong with me?!  Get a grip girl!  I take a deep breath and stand right beside the girls waiting for him to see me.  He gives me a smile and turns back to the girls.  I can see that wasn’t the first shots they have done.  They are very busty and young and they are fawning all over him like he is a rock star.  He is flirting with them and making them giggle at some dirty joke.  This is part of his job and I realize now that this part sucks.  He sees the look on my face and excuses himself from the girls.  “What’s wrong?”  He has to yell over the music and I tell he already knows.  He leans close to my ear and his lips send shivers down my spine.  “I told you this is the part most girls don’t want to deal with. This is part of what I do, this is who I am.”
I grab him and give him a deep kiss that makes the girls squeal and clap their hands.  “I had a great time Ray and no worries there are no labels here. You made me feel wonderful and amazing things but I am gonna head out.”  I turn to leave and he grabs my hand.  “Just stay.  I will be off in a few hours and we can hang out.”  I smile at him and shake my head.  “It’s ok Ray really.  Maybe I will see you again when I am back down this way.”  As I am making my way toward the front I hear the familiar beat of Sweet Dreams playing through the speakers.  I look back and he is staring at me with a grin on his face.  This was one of the songs he played last night.
I call Sara from the road to let her know I am coming back tonight.  My tone of voice tells her not to ask questions just yet.  “Just drive safe and I will see you when you get home.  Oh and you have flowers!”  I am shocked.  “I do?  What kind and who are they from?”  Sara laughs.  “A beautiful arrangement of pink camellias and gardenias the smell is intoxicating.  There is a card but I am not opening it.  My guess is they are from Michael.  That must have been some kiss the other night.”  Well now I have something to look forward to when I get home.  I crank up the music and roll down the windows in the car so I can feel the wind on my face.  Are those flowers from Michael?  I smile because I can’t wait to find out.

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Eleven

“Our Lips are So Close”
  It is finally New Year’s Eve and I am so excited to spend it with my best friends.  Tom invited me to go with him and Sara tonight to his bosses’ house for NYE.  Since Ray is working there is no point in driving down south.  Any other couple I would feel like a third wheel but with them I don’t.  Their PDA gets a little out of hand sometimes but I just throw something at them and they stop or at least move it to their room.  The only thing I am dreading is the traditional kiss at midnight.  Sara has offered Tom up for a kiss “but no tongue”.  I told her that as best friends and roommates we may share a lot of things but that is not one of them but thanks anyway.  It won’t be my first NYE without a kiss and not sure if it will be my last either.
Ray did send me a text earlier today that I should have a good time but not too good of a time unless he is involved.  I still blush when I read those hot texts he sent me last week.  I finally broke down and told Sara and I even made her gasp a few times.  There was something about him that just let that naughty freak flag waving girl come out in full force.  I have never done those things before and he made me feel so sexy and wanted and desired that I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to.  Dang it now that is all I can think about…..sigh.
“Annie are you ready?”  Sara is yelling for me to hurry up because for once she is ready before me.  It is usually Tom and I waiting for her.  “Coming!”  I give myself one more look in the mirror.  Tonight I am rocking a sleeveless silver and black sheath dress with a keyhole front to show just enough cleavage to be classy with silver heels.  My curly hair is piled up like a Grecian goddess with loose curls sweeping my neck and down my back.  The silver is making my hazel eyes really pop and they almost look blue tonight.  Not too bad I must admit.  We get into a limo that Tom has procured for the evening and there is champagne waiting for us so of course we pop it open on the way to the party.  Tom proposes a toast.  “Here is to a great new year and many more naughty adventures for Annie!”  I start to blush and look at Sara.  She has a big grin on her face.  I let out a squeak and bury my face in my tiny little clutch but it doesn’t do me any good.
He laughs at me and pulls my hands away from my face.  “Why are you hiding?  You know Sara tells me everything and I know she tells you everything.  I am not here to judge.  I am just glad you finally got laid.”  I am trying really hard to be mad but I can’t so I start laughing.  “Ok, ok I get it but I can’t help that I am picky and besides you are not the best match maker you know.”  He starts to say something but Sara pokes him in the side.  “She has a point and it looks like we are here so you are saved.”
Tom’s boss lives right on the beach in a huge mansion.  It is 3 stories, seems to stretch across two lots and is enclosed with a 10 foot tall wall with wrought iron gates in the front.  Tonight the gates are open and there are cars lined up along the narrow road.  The limo pulls right up to the door and as we get out there are 6 photographers taking our pictures.  What the hell?  They are all yelling for us to look at them and I have no idea who to look at.  This is weird but fun.  Sara and I are a bit tipsy already so we start striking different poses which elicits whistles and applause.  This may end up being a fun night after all.  Walking through the door is like walking into another world of the rich and famous.  There is so much to look at I feel a kid in a candy store I want to touch everything!
Once we are in the main hall we are greeted by wait staff carrying trays of champagne and various finger foods except calling these pieces of edible artwork finger food is an insult to this array of beautiful foods like a trio Foie-gras, scallops and black truffle ceviche served on a scallop shell and lobster and mango salsa served on endive to name a few.  Even the wait staff is beautiful.  The men are dressed in white tuxedo shirts, white bolero jackets with black trim and black pants.  The women are dressed in short black skirts, fancy fishnet stockings with black heels and white tuxedo tops. 
The party is going full force now with DJ Dynasty spinning house music and the dance floor is crowded to full capacity and everyone is either already drunk or getting close to it. Sara and I are standing in line at one of the many bars set up on the first floor to get a drink and I feel like someone is watching me.  I look to my left, just a bunch of drunk couples who don’t realize they are talking in drunk volume.  You know where you think you are talking really low but in reality you are shouting so everyone within 15 feet can hear exactly what you are saying.  I look to my right and at first I don’t see anyone but I still feel like I am being watched so I look up and leaning against the staircase railing on the second floor landing I find him.  He actually takes my breath away.  He is very well built with broad shoulders, stands 5’10” with salt and pepper hair cut very close to his head.  He is staring at me very intensely and when he sees that I caught him looking at me he doesn’t even attempt to look away but gives me a smile and a small nod.  I can’t help but smile back at him and give him a shy nod in return.
          Sara hands me my drink and says, “Why do you look like the cat that ate the canary right now?”  Damn it! I could never play poker.  “Do you see that guy on the second floor landing that looks like he was carved by Michelangelo?”  She looks up.  “Wow.  He looks very mysterious and hot and did I mention sexy?”  So it isn’t just me viewing him with champagne goggles.  “Yes that would be him.”
          She immediately grabs my hand and start pulling me toward the stairs.  I squeak and dig my heels in.  “Oh please you are going to make me turn every color under the rainbow here if you present me like some prize to him.  Besides what about Ray?”  She stops and looks at me smiling that silly smile that says ‘oh child must I school you on everything?’   “Are you two dating now?  Because if you are then I will not interfere but if you aren’t then you are free to do whatever and whomever you so choose to.”  I pout at her.  I hate when she is right.  I sigh.  “No that was never really established one way or the other.  We are just friends.”
          Suddenly we both start giggling and singing, “Oh baby you, you got what I need but you say he just a friend, you say he just a friend….” We fall into each other laughing and people are staring and a few even sing a few cords with us.  “Ok you made your point but alas my work of art has disappeared.”  Sara looks up and growls.  “That’s ok he will be back you’ll see.  Now let’s shake our money makers and show these people how it is done!”  as she pulls me onto the dance floor.
It is getting closer to midnight and people are starting to couple up and suddenly it is too hot inside and way too crowded.  I look for Sara but she is slow dancing with Tom and they look too involved in their conversation to interrupt.  I walk upstairs and out into the balcony that runs the length of the second floor.  There are several small groups of people out here smoking and chatting and even a few making out.  I walk out to the far end and I can hear the DJ start the countdown to New Year’s.  Leaning over the rail I look out over the waves crashing on the shore below me.  I put my head down on my hands and sigh.  So much for a kiss at midnight.
 Suddenly I feel someone standing next to me.  I look up and there he is.  I hear the countdown, “five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!”  He leans in close and I can smell him and he smells delicious.  He is very close to me and I look up at him.  “Happy New Year.”  He answers me with a kiss.  I am not expecting this and don’t immediately respond but after a few seconds I kiss him back.  His lips are soft but firm and he tastes like mint.  My hands are on his lower back and I can feel his muscles under his dress shirt.  He puts his hands in my hair and pulls me closer to him and the kiss grows more intense before he releases me.  Whoa.  I am breathless.  “I’m Michael by the way.  I apologize for being so forward but I have wanted to kiss you all night and I just had to put my hands in your exquisite hair.”
“Hi. Wow. Umm I’m Annie. Wow.”  He chuckles.  “Yes you said that already.”  I give my head a little shake I feel so light headed but in a good way.  Up close he is even more gorgeous than I thought.  He has very light blue eyes and he looks very serious but oh so sexy at the same time.  I reach up and touch his cheek.  Yes he is really standing here.  “I don’t, I, wow.….”  I am rendered speechless by that kiss.  He smiles at this.  “Again I apologize for being so forward but of everyone here tonight you were the only one I wanted to kiss at midnight.”  Where has this man been all my life?
“Annie there you are!”  Urgh, Sara has the worst timing.  She runs up and gives me a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.  “You go girl” she whispers in my ear.  This makes me giggle.  “Sara this is Michael, Michael this is my best friend and roommate Sara.”  He shakes her hand.  “Pleased to meet you Sara.”  He turns his attention back to me.  “Annie, it was such a pleasure getting to share a kiss at midnight with you.  I hope to run into you again soon.  You must excuse me for now I have some guests I need to attend to.  I will be in touch.”  And with that he walks away but not without a final look back before he disappears through the door.
Sara and I look at each other and pass the question between us without actually saying it, who was that?!  She grabs my hand and we walk back into the house and find Tom so we can go home.  Now my mission is to find out who Michael is.  And do I tell Ray about that kiss?  I will have a 3 hour drive tomorrow to figure that out.

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Ten

“It’s Getting Hot in Here”
“Hey Sara.  I can’t talk right now but the date was a bust.  I just ran into John in the parking lot.  I’m gonna have to call you back.”  I hang up before she can say anything and I look at John.  He looks like sad and pathetic nothing like a cage fighter at the moment.  He hangs his head and looks at me.  “Annie I am so very sorry for what happened.  I’m an asshole for sure.  I just can’t stand that you haven’t returned any of my phone calls.  Please let me explain.  I have missed you and I feel so lonely without you.”  I am looking at him in disbelief.  “Seriously?  I mean for God’s sake you broke that poor guys nose!  What the hell were you thinking?”  He starts to smile but sees the look on my face and immediately stops.  “He was being very disrespectful and I can’t stand that shit.”  I sigh loudly and shake my head.
I see a little coffee shop across the street.  I point to it and then to him.  “Let’s go.  I am not going to discuss this in the parking lot.”  I start walking and he quickly joins me.  “Annie, thank you.  I just want…”  I hold up my hand.  “Don’t say a word until we are inside.”   We walk in and I slide into a booth.  He starts to slide in next to me and I shake my head and point to the seat across from me.  Sitting there looking at him I don’t even know where to start.  I rub my hands over my face and look at him through my splayed fingers like a child peeking out at something that is scary on TV.  The difference is I am not scared I am pissed off.
“You do understand that this is not going to work out right?  I mean what are you going to do beat up anyone who looks at me for more than 30 seconds?  You can’t do that.  This is not grade school and I am NOT your property.  That guy could have pressed charges against you!  Frankly, I am not sure why he didn’t.  Oh yes I know why because I convinced him not to!”  John is looking down at his hands and I have no idea he is thinking at this moment.  “I’m sorry Annie.”  This comes out in a whisper.
“And why were you waiting for me in the parking lot tonight?  Are you following me?”  He actually laughs at this.  “No.  I may have jealousy issues but I’m not a stalker!  I was getting some food to go and saw you get up from your table and man you looked pissed at whatever your date said or did.  So I figured you were coming outside and I just wanted a chance to apologize to you in person since you won’t return my calls.”  He looks relieved now and it’s my turn to relax a bit.  “So you aren’t following me?”  I feel myself smile at him.  “No I promise.  I just needed to know that you forgive me for being a real jackass on our last date.  I really liked you and I screwed it up.  I am aware of that now and I know I can’t do anything to repair the damage but if I can get you to accept my apology I can ease my guilty conscience a bit.”  He grins at me sheepishly.

Smiling at him I feel better than I have all night.  “John, you are a great guy but you are a bit much for me.  I am sure the right girl is out there for you.  I appreciate you telling me all this but there is nothing to forgive.  In a crazy little way it was nice that you wanted to protect me.”  We make small talk for a few more minutes and then he gives me a hug and leaves.  I am sitting in the coffee shop enjoying my coffee and watching people walk by.  Mostly couples holding hands making small talk, laughing and delighting in each other’s company.  I wonder when that will be me.  And who will it be walking next to me.
My phone beeps and brings me out of my thoughts.  I have a text message from Ray.  The temperature just went up in here.  I am blushing and I haven’t even read the text yet. 
Ray: How’s that sexy ass of yours?
Me:  It still tingles when I think about you and that belt of yours!
Ray: As it should.  I have many more tricks up my sleeve planned for you.
Ray: When are you coming back down here?
Me:  You have more tricks?  Oh my goodness that is hot!
Me: Not sure when I can get back down there.  How badly do you want me down there?
Ray: I want to taste you again does that answer your question?
Me: Wow!  I think I just turned fifty shades of red….
Ray:  If you only knew what I wanted to do to you right now.
Me:  If last time is any indication I can only imagine!
Me:  My wrists start to tingle whenever I see a scarf now.  What have you done to me?
Ray: Question is how much more am I going to do to you…and oh how I am going to enjoy it.  Think about that.  Let me know when you are coming here. 
Ray:  I need to see you.  All of you.
Me:  Groan….definitely getting hotter in here.
“Annie!” I let out a little yelp.  I look up and Sara is standing there. “Jesus Sara you scared the crap out of me!”  She pushes me over and slides in next to me.  “Me?  I scared you?  What the hell!  You didn’t call me back so I was left to imagine all kinds of bad things happening to you so I came to look for you and saw you through the window.”  She gives me this weird look.  “Why is your face all red?  Are you talking to Ray?!”  This of course makes me blush even more and I can feel my ears turning red.  “What? No, I mean yes.  He has me so discombobulated.  I can’t think straight.  Is it hot in here?  It’s getting hot in here.”

“No sweetie that would be you.  So what did he say?”  She makes like she is going to grab my phone and I squeal and tuck it into my purse.  “No way! I am already blushing like crazy I don’t need you to add to it.  He wants me to come down there again to see him.”  Sara has this big grin on her face.  “Girl, tell me you are going!  Just by the look on your face and the deep shade of red you are turning right now you are thinking of all the naughty things he did to you already.  So when are you going back?” 
I start to giggle and pull my shirt up to try to cover my face.  What has gotten into me?  I am like a school girl with a crush.  “I was thinking of going this weekend.”  Sara joins in my giggles and orders a cup of coffee.  “Sweet.  Now Annie, I am your best friend and you have been holding out on me so please, please, please I beg you….fill me on the details I have been dying here!”  She gives me her best sad face and I can’t resist.  I smile and sip my coffee.

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Nine

“You would be really hot if you lost 20 pounds”
It has been a couple of weeks since our trip to south Florida and my time with Ray.  Sara keeps pressing me for details about our night together but I refuse to tell her.  Some things should not be shared and that was one of them.  Though every time she asks me a question my face gets red and I can’t stop smiling.  It was the most amazing, mind blowing night of my life.  She just giggles and gives me this knowing look like welcome to the club.  We didn’t really talk about what happens next but he did ask that if I come down again that I let him know.
He was pretty up front about his life style with me so I can see why dating is not something he does that much of.  Long nights at work, no weekends off, and of course tons of girls flirting with him.  This I saw for myself when I was at the club.  A few girls gave him their underwear they were wearing at the time…ewww!  I know my undies are not cheap so I will be damned if I give them away for some guy especially if I had been wearing them at the time.  This could pose a problem in the trust category.  He is awake when most people are asleep and misses most of the fun events that happen.  We have sent texts back and forth a few times and he has a wicked sense of humor.  Yeah I think I am in like with him but how the heck will this even work out?  Wow dating really sucks! 
“You know how to cook eggplant?”  I look up to see this nice looking guy standing across from me in the produce aisle staring at me.  I am holding an eggplant in my hand that I picked out for dinner tonight.  “Um, yes.”  He comes closer and extends his hand. “My name is Luis. You have a great smile if you don’t mind me saying so.”  This of course makes me smile even more.  I shake his hand, “Hi I’m Annie and thank you for the compliment.” We make small talk for a few minutes standing in there next to the eggplants.  He is 5’ 8”, light brown eyes, slim build with a bald head which I find very sexy for some reason.  I find out he is 45, loves to go dancing and he laughs like Count Dracula from Sesame Street.  I tell him this and he finds this funny.
“It was nice meeting you Luis but I better get going.  I do have an eggplant to cook.”  I walk away and can feel his eyes on me.  Two aisles over I am looking at the wine trying to decide which one will go best with our dinner tonight.  “May I suggest a Point Noir or a Chardonnay if you are undecided?”  Luis is standing next to me with a bottle of wine in his hand.  “I am not following you I swear.  We just happen to be looking for the same thing and this grocery store is pretty small.”  I laugh and grab a bottle of each.  “Thanks.  I know you aren’t following me but if I walk out to my car and you are there then I may start to worry.”  He smiles at this and I see he has this small scar on his upper lip that gives him this edge of mystery.  Interesting.
“I like your style Annie you are pretty funny.  Would you be interested in going to dinner with me tonight?”  Whoa this guy doesn’t waste any time.  “Oh, well that would be nice but I already have plans.”  I hold up the eggplant and the wine.  He doesn’t skip a beat.  “But of course.  What about tomorrow night?  You don’t have to say anything right now.  Here is my phone number give me a call later if you want to have dinner with me.”  He hands me his card.  “Hope to hear from you soon Annie.”  And with that he walks away leaving me holding his card.  I flip it over and read it.  It is his business card and his cell phone number is written in at the bottom.
I am back at the apartment and Sara and I are making dinner.  “Are you going to call him or not?”   I am flipping the breaded eggplant slices in olive oil and sipping my glass of wine.  “I don’t know.  I mean I want to but what about Ray?  Would it be bad if I went out with this guy?  I mean it is only dinner what’s the big deal?”  Sara laughs.  “Who are you trying to convince me or yourself?  You said he seemed nice and you aren’t dating Ray.  So you had a wonderfully hot sexy night together….at least I think you did since you won’t give me any details!  The point is you can’t sit here and wait for some guy you have to go out there and enjoy yourself.”  She hands me the phone.  I sigh, take it and dial his number.
Here I stand once again in front of the mirror getting ready for yet another date.  I feel like I am in a scene from Ground Hogs Day.  Forced to relive the same day over and over again until I get it right.  The only difference is the male leads change but the heroine stays the same.  Will I ever get it right?  I apply my lipstick and smile.  Only time and patience will tell.  Sara checks me over for approval.  “Annie you look fabulous as usual!  Make sure you have your phone on you.”  I give her my famous smirk, “yes Sara I know the drill.  I am meeting him at Lulu’s in 20 minutes so I better get going.  Don’t get distracted this time by Tom.”
“I heard that Annie!”  Tom is sitting in the living room with a wicked grin on his face.  Yeah I know that look.  He is just counting the minutes til I am gone so he can pounce on Sara.  Sara gives me a quick hug and pushes me out the door.  “I promise I will call this time.”  Driving to the restaurant I think back to my time with Ray again.  Why can I not get him out of my head?  Maybe because I experienced things I never have before.  I want that but I want all of it is that too much to ask for? 
Dinner is going well with Luis and the conversation is flowing well.  The waitress comes over and he orders us each another glass of wine.  I excuse myself to the restroom because the wine is starting to get to me.  I send Sara a text while I am in there letting her know so far so good.  Of course she doesn’t respond…argh.  Damn their libido!
“Luis, can I ask you how you got that scar?”  He touches it and I don’t think he even realizes he does it.  “I got into a car accident about 2 years old and I was pretty lucky that no one got hurt.  This scar is from the glass when it broke on impact.  I was in the hospital for a few days the accident did a number on my back.  Now it is my turn to make an observation.  You are a very good looking woman and you have curves in all the right places.  But if you lost about 20 lbs. you would be so hot.”  I put my wine glass down.  “Excuse me?”
“No, no I didn’t mean it like that.  You look great just the way you are.  I was just thinking that if we worked out together that people would look at us and think how hot we are together.  I feel a connection to you and I want people to be in awe of us when we walk down the street together.”  I am staring at him like he is crazy.  “Luis is this something you do on all your first dates?  Do you feel the need to say anything that is on your mind regardless of whether it hurts the other person or not?”  He must see something in my eyes because he pulls my glass of wine closer to him.  I stand up to leave and he grabs my hand.  “Please.  I’m sorry I really didn’t mean it the way it came out.  Sit down people are looking over here.”
“No you meant it the way it came out and I don’t care who is looking at us.  And get your damn hands off of me.  And here’s the thing Luis, I can lose weight but you will always be an asshole.”  I turn and walk out and can hear some applause and even some giggles.  Great.  I don’t think I will be eating here any time soon.  I am walking to my car when my cell phone rings, it’s Sara. I am getting ready to say hello when I see John leaning against my car.  What the hell?  Can this night get any more insane?

Big Girls Don’t Cry Part Eight

“I’m with the DJ….”
I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder who the girl with the hazel eyes and crazy curly dark brown hair is staring back at me.  Did I really invite the DJ back to our condo?  I peek out from behind the bathroom door and see him out there on the balcony talking to Sara.  I groan to myself.  Even from here his voice sends chills dancing down my spine.  What was I thinking or better yet what part of my body was doing the thinking?  I have never done anything like this before.  Ok it’s not like I am going to sleep with him. Yet. Wait, am I?  I am pulled from my internal argument over my possible bad girl behavior to the sound of my name. “Annie!  Did you fall asleep in there?”  I quickly pull my sweatshirt on and walk back out to the balcony.
Ray and Sara are sitting on the only two loungers on the balcony so I lean against the railing with the rising sun at my back.  Sara looks at Ray and then looks at me.  Ray opens his legs and pats the space on the lounger motioning for me to sit down.  I smile and sit down on the chair.  “Are you cold?” I nod my head.  What am I suddenly a mute?  “It does get a bit chilly this early in the morning especially on the beach but it is my favorite time of the day.  There aren’t too many people out yet so I can claim this part of the day as mine.  I pick who I share it with.”

I turn around so that I am looking at him.  We are so close right now that I could lean forward a few inches and touch his mouth with mine.  His lips are full and supple, ready to be kissed.  I can feel the electricity between us again.  I am looking into his eyes and feel my stomach fill with butterflies.  “It is amazing watching the sun rise.  I can’t remember the last time I was up this early to actually see the sun come up.”  He takes me by the shoulders and turns me back around so that my back is to him and pulls me against his chest.  Oh my heaven!  The heat has just gone from a simmer to a raging boil.  Sara gets up and kisses the top of my head.  “Well I am suddenly very tired so I am going to bed.  You kids have fun.  Don’t break the loungers please my aunt just bought them.”  I immediately blush but Ray just chuckles. 
We sit silently watching the sun slowly rise higher into the sky.  He is running his fingers across my shoulders and back and I am turning into putty right there in his hands.  I want to talk but I don’t because I don’t want to break the spell.  The heat is beyond boiling now and he pulls me closer to him and I can feel his breath on my neck. I tilt my head back so that so it is resting on his shoulder and our cheeks are touching.  His smell is intoxicating.  It is a mix of musk and sweat and it is driving me crazy.  I want to pounce on him right now.  I imagine turning and our lips meeting, that first spark of the first kiss between us.  The taste of his mouth on mine, his hands in my hair pulling me closer to him so that our bodies are touching our hands exploring each other.  I let out a small moan and that brings me out of my fantasy.  I sit up and look back at him.  He is looking at me with that same cryptic smile.
He stands up and I stand as well. I can feel our bodies so close now and I dare to reach out and touch his chest. I like what I feel.  It is his turn to shiver with excitement.  He takes my hands and kisses the palm of each hand.  I find this oddly erotic.  He leans in close and I think he is going to kiss me and I find his lips at my ear.  His breath is on me and I think I may explode right there.  “Annie.  You look sexy as hell in that sweatshirt.  Come to the club tonight I want to see you again.  I liked watching you dance tonight.”  With that he pulls away and walks toward the door pulling me behind him.  I watch him walk outside and call a taxi.  He turns and gives me that sexy smile.  I close the door and walk to my bedroom in a daze.
I am completely rattled in so many ways.  I want this man so badly right now and he knows it.  We have just begun the slow sexy dance of seduction and damn it I really like it.  Just as he did with his music he made me hungry for more.  Tonight cannot come fast enough.  I slip my headphones on and Jack Johnson helps me slide into another world of music and dreams.
I awake to Sara sitting on the edge of my bed crunching on an apple.  “Well the loungers are in one piece, the living room is still pretty neat and you are still wearing your sweatshirt so I guess you didn’t get lucky?  I was so sure it was going to happen!  Why do you think I went to bed?!”  I laugh because she is almost pouting about it.  I stretch and push her off the bed as she squeals.  “Sara.  What kind of girl do you think I am?”  She gets up and quickly jumps on me. “The horny kind of course. I mean the connection between you two was sick! I could feel it from where I was sitting.  He is hot and single and so are you so go for it.  You need this.”

“Well he wants me to come back to the club tonight.  I know you wanted to head back today but do you think we could stay just one more night?”    She gives me this smirk like I am missing out on the punch line of some secret joke.  “Well duh of course we are staying another night.  Tom is on his way down so he can hit the club with us.  Now get your ass up it is already 4 o’clock and I am starving.  I ordered Chinese take-out and it should be here soon.”  We spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out and talking about her crazy sex life with Tom and my apparent lack of one.  Soon enough Tom arrives and they disappear into the bedroom.  I decide to go for a walk on the beach because I don’t want to hear them going at it especially since they have been apart for a full 24 hours it is bond to get loud in there.
It is 11:30 pm when we arrive at the club.  Again I feel that familiar pull of the music taking over my body calling me to the dance floor.  Tom heads to the bar to get us some drinks while Sara and I hit the floor.  I look toward the DJ booth and there he is in his glory.  He is moving to the music and has his headphones on getting the next track ready.  The memory of our sunrise heat brings that tingle to the surface and it has made its way to other areas of my body.  I am letting go to the music now as it takes over my body, moving me to a new level.  I feel as if I am on fire inside between the music and the thoughts of Ray in my head.
The spotlight is on me again and I see the bouncer waving me up to the DJ booth.  I smile at this.  I didn’t want to come here in and fawn all over him like some little puppy.  Ray pulls me into the booth.  Wow! It is completely different seeing the dance floor from here.  He leans close and says, “I’m going to give you a quick DJ lesson. Are you ready?  You are doing the next mix.”  I immediately get excited and freaked out all at the same time.  “Ok I am ready.  What do I do?”  He comes and stands behind me really close and zap there is that instant spark between us again I think it even takes him by surprise. His body is pressed up against me and he takes my hands and puts them on each fader.  I realize he has total control of me and that makes me want him even more right now.  

He gently takes my hand and has me slide the fader of the song that is playing down and takes the other hand and very lightly pushes that fader up so that song is starting to come through.  Both songs are playing at the same time and I know that in that moment I have the control that I am making this club jump up and down and scream.  Holy shit!  I just mixed a song in front of all these people!  He steps back.  “You did a great job how do you feel right now?”  I have this look of excitement on my face.  “I felt powerful.  Thank you.  That was crazy.”
“It was totally worth it to see the look on your face.  Listen I am out of here at 1 am.  You gonna to be here?”  I nod and smile, “of course. There is no way I can leave now.”  He comes closer to me and leans in, his lips on my ear again.  “Good.  I want to see you in that sweatshirt again….and nothing else.”  I think the temperature just went up about 15 degrees.  “Ok” is all I can manage to say.  I walk back over to where Sara and Tom are dancing.  “That was freakin hot Annie!  I thought he was going to take you right there in the booth.”
“Yes it was beyond words.  He got me so worked up.”  I am still on the high from the booth.  “He asked me to wait for him to get off work.  I need to get my sweatshirt out of the car before then.”  Yes I do pay attention to the details.  The rest of the evening goes by quickly and I am waiting outside with Tom and Sara when Ray comes out.  “Do you mind if I steal Annie for the rest of the night Sara?”  Sara practically hands me over on a plate to Ray and I have to laugh at this.  She either really wants the place for her and Tom or she is hoping I get really lucky.
We arrive at Rays place and he sees that I have the sweatshirt in my hands.  “Ah yes the sweatshirt I like so much.  I am going to put some music on.  Do you want something to drink?”  I ask for a glass of wine and decide to locate the restroom.  If he wants the sweatshirt then the least I can do is put it on for him.  When I come out of the restroom I see that the lights are off but there are candles lit everywhere and I can hear the soft strains of Kasmir by Led Zeppelin.  I am surprised but pleasantly so.  I am wearing the sweatshirt but I still have on my bra and panties I am not that brave.
He comes out of the kitchen with two glasses of wine and stops when he sees me.  “Wow.  You have no idea how sexy that looks on you.”  I cock my head at him.  He is right I don’t get it but if he likes it then that works for me.  He puts the glasses down and drops to his knees in front me.  He runs his hands up my legs to my hips.  He looks up when his hands touch my panties.  I just smile shyly at him.  His hands slide under the sweatshirt and I can feel his fingers lightly touching my stomach, chest and as he stands he runs his fingers up and down my back.  The heat from his touch and the sweatshirt is making me very warm for all the right reasons. Very slowly he slides his hands up my sides taking the sweatshirt with him as he goes.  The sensation of this sends me to a higher level.  It is sensual and sexy, my body is responding to the changes in temperature and his touch.  The sweatshirt falls to the floor.
I stand before him in my bra and panties with the flickering light of candles and the sounds of Led Zeppelin around me.  He comes closer again and his lips are right there and just when I think he is not going to kiss me he does.  His lips are soft and taste slightly of wine.  The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering like crazy trying to get out.  His kisses are slow and unhurried.  His lips and tongue explore mine in if in a slow dance.  His hands embrace me and pull me closer to him so that I can feel the length of his body against mine.  This feels so amazing.  I. Want. More.